Getting help isn’t as simple as asking the teacher, although usually the first suggestion parents make when a teenager doesn’t understand the assignment. Teenagers may not have been taught to identify the problem, to know what exactly the student is asking. Then, there’s the humbling of oneself to admit there’s a lack of knowledge (not easy for anyone). Plus, the authority of a teacher and adult can be intimidating to a teen wanting to be respectful. Lastly, any (possibly only perceived) personality differences are an additional challenge for teens, who may make decisions more intuitively, regardless of the reasonableness.
By the time a teenager works through each of these issues, and actually approaches a teacher, the request for help often comes out as, “I don’t get it”, which doesn’t give much information for the teacher and student to start a conversation. Parents can help teens in learning to problem solve. A parent’s consistent and patient questioning (possibly over several conversations) will allow the student to identify the issue s/he needs help resolving. Then, together, parent and student can plan a strategy for approaching the teacher and her/his personality to get help. Also, explaining that the issue may need several conversations to resolve may help the teen be patient with themselves and the process.
Preparation for college isn’t only in gaining more content knowledge. Learning the skills needed to learn is preparing, too.
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Jill Yoshikawa, Ed M, is a University of California and Harvard trained educator and Partner at Creative Marbles Consultancy. You can contact Jill at jill@creativemarbles.com or, read her short biography.
