“I can’t get my daughter to pick up the phone and call a college admissions office,” is a common frustration and concern I hear from Senior parents. After a lifetime of watching from just behind mom and dad, teens on the cusp of leaving home are starting to experience the independence and self-reliance they crave. Yet, at first glimpse, standing on one’s own two feet may be more daunting than expected. And, parents think since their children are high achieving, they can talk on the phone to arrange whole proms and community service days, that surely they can call a college admissions officer and ask a few questions, right? Nope. There’s a difference between calling on behalf of the Class of 2013 and calling to represent oneself–and on top of that, then calling a college admissions officer, where in teens’ minds a single misstep (perceived or otherwise) can lead to an immediate denial letter. Transitioning from teenage-hood to maturing young adulthood is not always simple or smooth for Seniors and their parents.
Be patient with oneself and one’s offspring. Remember as a teenager/young person, we teach respect for our elders, taking a step back. Teens can be beginning to see themselves as maturing human beings, and more equal with adults. Sometimes, practicing or role playing conversations is helpful for teens. I often script out a series of questions to ask a college admissions officer, that the student can reference while on the phone. Also, giving a teenager practice talking on the phone, from ordering pizza for dinner to making doctor’s appointments can be helpful. Lastly, keeping perspective about conversations with college admissions officers, where one conversation is not going to derail an admissions decision. College admissions offices may track student’s interest (i.e. contacts with the college); however, that interest is not a make or break factor in any admissions decision. Working through each conversation and any concerns (real or imagined) that the teenager has will be helpful and most effective for getting the calls made. Plus, both teen and parent will gain confidence that the teenager will be ready for the soon-to-be move away from home in the next six months.
