In December, students who applied early admissions—whether Early Action or Early Decision—will receive one of three responses: Admitted, Denied, or Deferred to the Regular Decision pool. Yet, for teenagers, the responses often translate emotionally as: Validated (or Vindicated), Rejected, and In-Between (not quite a rejection, but not an acceptance either).
For both students and parents, the admissions process is personal. Many Gen Z’ers have been preparing, thinking, discussing college for many years, supported by their parents who spend weekends a sports games, lessons of every sort, and summers planning vacations around camps and college tours—seemingly curating the “perfect” resume for college admissions (for which there is no perfect resume).
Thus, many perceive college admissions decisions like a verdict on a young person’s worthiness, as judged by the so-called gatekeepers of opportunity—admissions officers. Early applicants can especially bear a heavy emotional weight, many of whom pursued Early Decision or Early Action as a way to soothe insecurities by hedging their chances of admission to a coveted college, given a seemingly higher admit rate.
Many interpret the outcome, particularly a denial and deferrment, a as confirmation that they are “not good enough,” even with the perceived advantage of applying early. Parents, counselors, and friends may try reassure students, but students still need time to process what happened and reconcile their expectations with reality.
With patience and the ability to “feel one’s feelings,” students can adapt to the situation. Adding to the difficulty, however, students who are deferred or denied must now pivot to preparing Regular Decision applications—often due in January—while still processing their grief.
Yet, students can apply what they’ve learned about themselves during the early process to make more thoughtful, strategic decisions about where to apply next—choosing colleges that align with their goals and values rather than seeking validation through prestige alone. Ultimately, the college admissions process is a time to develop self-awareness, learn how to navigate setbacks, and make informed choices.
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